This morning, my charming boyfriend brought flowers to me at work.
Awwwwwwww.
The first question that comes to mind is: What's wrong with him?
Followed by: Why should there be anything wrong with him?
Followed by: Why am I obsessing?
That last one was a good one, no? This guy I'm with is maybe the most positive male-type person to happen to me since my step-dad. And I met my step-father when I was born.
That sounds extreme, but it's pretty accurate. I haven't known a lot of men who were good for me. That's not all any one person's fault. Part of that is the hand I was dealt, and part of that is the bad choice after bad choice I made while feeling victimized by the hand I was dealt.
So, I obsess about not being good enough for an amazing man in my life who loves me. And I figure I don't deserve him or his beautiful little girl. Even though they must think I'm worth being around.
Knowing and knowing are two different things. And, while it's obvious I'm loved, wanted and dare-I-say, needed......it's hard for me to convince me that it's for real.
That's how sick I can be.
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